shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
