I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
