mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
