I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Drake has all the answers
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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