Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
