Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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