i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to wash the frat house off of me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
