She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
