Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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