I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
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What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize