we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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