roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
