She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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