Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
