he wants to bone in the snuggie
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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