Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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