Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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