Don't you send me to vm
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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