FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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