matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
3pm strippers are depressing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
