i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
