not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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