David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
