i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
