I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
