wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
