Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
