hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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