I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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