And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
