I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
