I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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