I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
