Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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