she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
