She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
