I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
