I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
