I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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