if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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