I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
