well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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