i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
