White coat. Heels.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
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The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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