Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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