oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize