Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
