i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
