We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
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Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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