I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
