I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
