Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
