someone owes me an orgasm
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
