well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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