i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize