And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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