there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
