just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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