also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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