How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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