i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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