She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
