We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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