is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
