Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
